If Napoleon had received a report from America about the land he acquired in 1800, it might have read as follows:
"A flat lifeless midland, vulnerable to great windstorms. A stinking, mosquito infested swamp to the south. A freezing flatland to the north. Land of little value."
Ultimately, the bad sales pitch worked in our favor, and that fateful spring France gave the United States one hell of a deal. America controlled the Mississippi River and with it, the greatest city in the world. 1803 was a very good year.