Drunks: Loud, Obnoxious, and Thinking the World Is Their Urinal

Loud, Obnoxious, and Leavin' a Mess

In a city with no last call, go-cups on every corner, and a Bourbon Street that operates as a 24-hour open-air bar, drunks are not a bug in the system — they are the system. They are loud, obnoxious, and leave messes in their wake of destruction. They travel in packs and think the world is their urinal. They can be lured away with any fried food you have on hand. And their female versions can often be found on upper Bourbon flashing for beads, proving that poor judgment is an equal-opportunity condition.

The New Orleans drunk comes in several varieties. There's the tourist drunk, who discovered Hand Grenades at noon and is face-down on a bench by 4 PM. There's the bachelor party drunk, who brings his entire fraternity and treats the French Quarter like a frat house without walls. There's the convention drunk, who has escaped the trade show and is making decisions that will haunt him when the corporate credit card statement arrives. And there's the local drunk, who is generally more seasoned, more dignified, and more likely to make it home under their own power.

The Infrastructure of Intoxication

New Orleans has built an entire ecosystem around the drunk. Lucky Dog carts provide late-night sustenance. Taxi and rideshare drivers have developed the patience of saints. The to-go cup — that uniquely New Orleans invention that allows you to take your drink from bar to bar to street to bar — ensures that the drinking never needs to stop for logistical reasons. The city enables the drunk with the efficiency of a well-oiled machine, because the drunk is the economic engine that keeps Bourbon Street lit and the tax revenue flowing.

The downside is the mess — literal and figurative. The vomit on the sidewalks. The broken glass in the gutters. The shouting matches at 3 AM. The Uber ratings that plummet after a passenger gets sick in the back seat. It's the cost of being America's party city, and New Orleanians accept it with the resigned tolerance of people who understand that you can't have Mardi Gras without a few casualties.

Frequently Asked Questions About Drunks in New Orleans

Is there really no last call in New Orleans?

Correct. New Orleans has no mandatory closing time for bars. Many bars in the French Quarter operate 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

What is a go-cup?

A go-cup is a plastic cup that allows you to take your alcoholic drink outside. New Orleans is one of the few cities in America where open containers of alcohol are legal on public streets (in plastic, not glass).